afterward,
rummaging through the sub-text
of an already bloody encounter,
trying to salvage, like Proust,
the personal pronoun,
the ambiguity of which
fueled this tragedy of miscues:
when you said "She's very friendly",
I thought you meant your dog.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
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Very nice. Love the ending. Your style has great eloquence.
ReplyDeleteNice!!! Loved the last lines..:) But why did you end it so small this time?
ReplyDeleteWas hoping to see some more verses..:)
Keep writing!
P.S. I also like the way you start from the centre of a true incident.. gives a natural feeling to the poem!
Forgive the brevity.
ReplyDeletethe brevity works here... you knew right where to stop, and that is part of the poem's brilliance.
ReplyDeleteVery nice! I like this one a lot, Gerry!
ReplyDelete~Calli
loved the miscues... so much of lost and found hangs on these.... in so many dimensions..
ReplyDeletebeen preoccupied with work BS over the past ten days or so and have been so happy to read and enjoy your words and storying... thanks for the sustaining reading!
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ReplyDeleteI liked this one a lot, Gerry! The structure is brilliant and sharp. The poem has an edge.
ReplyDeleteEven though I enjoy your longer ones (they are always well-written), I am very into concise verse like this one. This might have to do with my nordic belonging.
HA! Gerry made a funny.
ReplyDeleteAt long last I found your blog... thank you.you are great I love the way you write. Yes. Simple and dense; just the way I like it.
ReplyDeleteWonderfully witty. I love it.
ReplyDeleteAn already bloody encounter, and you made it humorous :). There's quite a story in there somewhere, Im sure.
ReplyDeleteI found the lines brilliant.
Everything about this ones is brilliant .. Or so I believe ! It is brief ... I like to read/write brief poetry. This one has got everything ... from the title to the end .. everything was enjoyable. Very cleverly penned indeed. Keep writing ...
ReplyDeleteMy family has what they call "that's all" stories; the story is short and ends with that phrase, and so many people look at us askance because they don't get the point. Yours is a that's all story. Masterfully done, I might add. The brevity adds to the impact.
ReplyDelete