Saturday, March 6, 2010

Once a melody conferred

I saw a girl brush her hair there, once-
but became rushed into the sparrow's eye.

A refracted patter from a rise of pine,
marooned to pining with sawdust filigree-
to cling to twist to turn to needles
in the sappy knot of walking away.

Something since has sintered the evergreen
into a sinistral stump of weeping silence,

from that dust up to a musty pedigree
I have grown aphasic in the orange muster
of a lattice sun and ovulate cones.

I saw a girl brush her hair there, once,
or so the sparrow seemed to song.

36 comments:

  1. I love the sounds in this one. The third stanza is simply amazing. And the lyrical beauty of the images matches the language quite well.

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  2. good imagery Gerry another classic poem :)

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  3. your imagery... your imagery....

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  4. Sweet.

    Sometimes that's all it takes, the witnessing of a simple moment.

    erin

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  5. you have eternalised that one moment! Beautifully!

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  6. just beautiful! and haunting...


    .

    a bird
    a girl
    with long hair
    a pine
    a song
    that filled up the air

    now
    just
    a silence
    hollower than
    a nightmare...

    .

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  7. @Francis: Sound always trumps semantics in my book.

    @William: Of course, I love imagery too.

    @Shadow: See previous item.

    @Limpidus: Say no more. Thanks.

    @WIAW: Just one look.....

    @Smita: At least for a moment.

    @human being: I love your response as much as the original. Thanks.

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  8. @aaron: Thanks for stopping by.

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  9. Hello Gerry,

    Composition is beautifully sensitive. It has that wow factor! Lovely...

    Regards,
    Dimps
    http://poemshub.blogspot.com

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  10. this is wonderful, such play with words and such feeling and I love the way the ending comes round back to the beginning

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  11. @Dimps: Welcome. Happy to wow, on occasion.

    @CGP: Thanks. I like to play with words. Otherwise, for me, why write a poem. Most of what I have to "say", for me, is not that interesting.

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  12. Oooo... the girl and the sparrow and the song. And I loved that hint of alliteration in the third stanza. That was a magical read, Gerry!

    Nevine

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  13. update ur blog Jerry, & visit mine,
    post a comment on 'Genesis'
    thanks,
    Smita

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  14. What a beautiful poem, and as mentioned before me, the imagery is just perfect!:)
    Your poems are really special, keep them coming :)

    Sofia


    http://theycallmelolita.blogspot.com

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  15. @Nevine: Funny, your comment made me think of Edith Piaf. "Non, je ne regrette rien"

    @A.Odhiambo: Welcome and thank you my friend.

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  16. @Sofia (heart) Freebird: Thanks so much. I intend to keep them coming. ;-)

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  17. A new favorite in my book. The third stanza was indeed masterful, not only did it make supreme use of alliteration, but it taught me a new word (sintered).

    Equally eloquent: "I have grown aphasic in the orange muster" . . .

    Thank you BTW for your idiosyncratically colorful comments on my own latest entry - they are most welcome! Also, not sure if you caught the audio on that one but it does add a few extra dimensions to the written part.

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  18. @OE: Thanks, Apologies for the idiosynchronicity on your post. It was a tad silly on my part, I guess. The spirit moved me, which is, I suppose, a high compliment to you. I thought that that matrix was truly interesting. I love when someone pushes the possibilities of how words can be purposed. It's good to ask whether the usage of words has to be only linear. I'll have to go back for the audio. I was at work at the time. Regards.

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  19. Gerry, hallo ...

    wieder gern bei dir gelesen - das Gedicht ist ein ganz großes!

    LG, Rachel

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  20. @Rachel: Danke und Wilkommen. Mein Deutsch ist nicht so gut, aber ich verstehe.

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  21. Gerry,

    If you were moved, then I definitely take it as a compliment. Though I also assure you that my previous comment was not voiced in the spirit of complaint, so there is no need for apologies.

    Namaste!

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  22. @OE: No offence taken at all. I just didn't want you to think I was being flippant. When the spirit moves me I write. Peace.

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  23. I second Francis. And the use of repetition is effective.

    Gerry, an engaging read.

    Chen-ou

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  24. I agree with so much that has been said about the repetition.... and I am always struck by how you can bring the reader into the deep feeling of this moment now... lovely

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  25. @Chen-ou Liu: Thanks for stopping by. Glad you were engaged.

    @Harlequin: Isn't is funny that there been a repetition of comments about the repetition?

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  26. Wow you can really knit those words. Amazed, here.

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  27. @Heterodynemind: After checking your blog, I would say that you are no slouch either when it comes to word-slinging. You have a fine poetic sense in my amateur opinion, so I take your comment with much quiet pleasure. Thanks.

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  28. amazing poem. so many interesting images and i like the way the repetition at the end ties it all together. beautiful.

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  29. Hello from Ukraine !

    Yes, this the very good poem, I read until end and enjoyed, very much !

    So, I say you thank you for it and, hello :-)

    Sincerely,

    Marina.

    Rivne - Ukraine.

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  30. @georgemckim: Thanks and welcome.

    @marinademchuck: Hello Ukraine! You are welcome.

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