Lifting an exhausted sock with prehensile toes
from the counterpane side of dawn's downy rose
is the minimally primal use of quintuple digits,
greater is savagely ripping a ripe papaya for musky seed
with sticky juice on warming fingers and frisky wrists,
and licking the thickening syrup with a simian glee.
There are seven ways that are less than prime,
all secretly scratched in clay by a whiskered few
and here we only lightly tease by noting two-
three through six are partly dusky and void of rhyme
but number seven, of necessity, involves a clue.
The clue is that little miss misguided Moffit,
made a u-turn and couldn't tough it:
Charmed by crystal and the spectrum produced,
she glittered through aqua and orange and spruce,
neither cowed by refraction nor sunlit but chance,
she spun through the motions of an anodyne dance,
At the bitter script of cuneiform prophets
she began to, leeringly, just peek askew,
coaxing brass music from ethereal bracelets
and waiting for clouds to razor the moon.
The clue is a little miss misguided Moffit,
she made you turn and couldn't rough it.
Murky bowcups indeed.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
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Interesting rhyming scheme and a cracking finale!
ReplyDeletePerfect! — just replace “dawn’s downy rose” with “dawn’s runny nose” and you've got it!
ReplyDelete(just kidding, man)
A carnival of words!! Love how you played the rhymes!
ReplyDeleteThis one has a rich flavor, I think. And the m's seem to pace way for dizzying swirls.
ReplyDeleteAha, "papaya" versus "tomato"!
Gerry this was superb, great post, enjoyed it from start to end :)
ReplyDeleteSo strong..and we love how you play with
ReplyDeletefonts this time
*a broad smile*
ReplyDelete@Gordon: Glad you liked the ending. I thought it was amusing if slightly abstruse.
ReplyDelete@Mr. Michaelian: The keyboard upon which your comment engendered a healthy spit of green teas forgives you. Very funny. Seriously.
@Alexandra: Sometimes I feel like a rhyme; don't we all?
@Jenny: Mmmmmmm......swirl away my friend.
@Mr. Manson: Glad it had staying power for you.
@Maria: Thanks for stopping by. Hope to see you again. I love comments.
@Noxalio: "grin". Thanks for the private editing help. Much obliged.
great writing! Wish I could use the nuances of language as you do!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed watching the video link you sent me yesterday. So, now I will forward this gem.
ReplyDeleteThe two things that have influenced my writing mostly:
Zola and
Sesame Street (70s):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkPh8As-y6E
@Smita: Thanks for stopping by.
ReplyDelete@Jenny: LOL. Zola: Have never read. My bad. Will have to check that out. Sesame St.: No wonder we're damaged.
Man, i like your ethereal imagination. your poem is quite thought provoking, yet vivid. how else can it be. anyhow, am a big fun of yours as well as blog, it is nothing short of brilliant. okay. well. am also a blogger cum poet based in nairobi, kenya. do you mind really becoming a fun of my blog. my address is:www.biloetry.blogspot.com. thanks in advance. kudos...
ReplyDeletePoetry that speaks its own language, now that is art!! Thank you...
ReplyDelete@biloetry: Welcome. Thanks for the praise. I follow you friend.
ReplyDelete@Lyn: No, thank you. Appreciate you popping by.
Great post
ReplyDeleteLiving is enlightening
@Walker: Much obliged.
ReplyDeleteDivine! Inspiring wordsmith! I love a poet who doesn't 'play' nor compromises his craft for an easier vernacular.
ReplyDelete@Johnsie Noel: Welcome. I have always struggled quite a bit with words and meaning. That being said, I try to express "something" and I really just love to play with words. To what end, I mostly do not know. That being said, per T.S. Eliot: "Every attempt is another kind of failure" I just wonder whether the failure set is finite or infinite. Maybe someday I will find out. Thanks for stopping by.
ReplyDeletejust all around great stuff; really liked the playfulness and the twists and turns and especially liked the rhyme schemes.
ReplyDeletelots of fun!
You say you have always struggled quite a bit with words and meaning. - I am left staggered.
ReplyDeleteAs I am by this poem. It is great fun to read and yet I feel like Alice - things out of proportion for me and oddly familiar. Perhaps I've had too much coffee. I usually do have too much coffee.
xo
erin
and why is it that
ReplyDeletethe best written men
do purport
to struggle with words?
so strange, really.
maybe it is in the struggle
with tough hands
you do
girdle them.
@WIAW: It's why men don't talk much, I suppose. What can you say, really? xo
ReplyDelete@Harlequin: Thx, fun is generally good, right? I like to think my writing is funny, usually. It makes me laugh but, of course, I'm a little tetched in the head.
The rhymes are undoubtedly flawless but it is the first two stanzas that I dwelt on most pensively.
ReplyDeleteThese fragments are rather spectacular, in and of themselves. Good work!
OE(I): That you dwelt at all is the supreme compliment. Muchas Gracias.
ReplyDelete