Interesting how the stages seem to be connected through a sort of fuse wire, in spite of the sharp divisions. The last "Concrete Paranoia" feels like visual poetry. The effect really works. Nicely done.
half of me is... BIG half of me... small half of me hums half of me is keeping mum half of me doodles half of me jumps over the puddles this way i keep my balance on the cosmic thread of presence...
@Jenny: As soon I said I disliked concrete/visual poetry, I felt compelled to try one. This little trio is pretty weak in my mind. Been busy with other stuff.
@human being: Welcome. I dig the generic quality of your handle. Aren't we all? Like the riff that you rode from the somewhat uninspired start. It's waaaay better than the original. Thanks. And Namaste to you too.
It's interesting how seeing these three together, the mind tries to make connections between them. The spareness of the forms also invites us to attach to them our faulty personal associations. For me the concrete poetry brought to mind Alice with her magic potion and cake. I like the open questioning of it.
@Francis: Yes, good point. Are they connected? I suppose in some sense relative to a point in time and space, i.e., my brain. First and last concrete for me. The blogger composer wouldn't let me do what I really wanted to do cause it does let hack you own arbitrary HTML. Bummer.
@Jinksy: As always, you make me smile. :-)
@Nevine: Thanks, dear. Pretty non-abstruse for me, no?
i feel like it operates on both the micro and macro levels. focusing first on the rose garden, which in the grand scheme of things is microscopic, then expanding into the questions of the universe: can we ever really come to a conclusion? and finally, steadies into each one of us, insignificant, yet, the true meaning of life. whether you meant it to be that way or not, for a work you deemed "pretty weak", great job in eliciting such a response
@Ande: Thanks for that insightful analysis. I guess I may have to adjust my judgement. The piece seems to have elicited a wide array of interpretations which, if I can view it objectively, is a positive measure. (Since the writer throws something out there and what the reader brings to it, they bring themselves. So I try to make my work capable of as many readings as possible. The goal, of course never reached, would be an infinite number of possible readings. Or at least one for every reader. Something for everyone: that's my motto ;-0 ). Weird, since I came very close to deleting this post because I just didn't think it worked that well. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to do a careful read.
three smudges in a puddle; I keep seeing these almost faces peeking back at me and teasing me with the " almost there " gestures..... lots going on in a small space; the visual third stanza was quite effective.
Wow, I love this, both as one giant poem and as three separate poems. I love the look of the last bit. I hadn't ever really considered something like that before, part of me big and part of me small, but now that I do consider it, it really kind of freaks me out!
As for the two -- haikus, right?
i avoid math 'cause i want subjectivity no real right or wrong
I am liking this, you; for the condenseness of such.They appeal to my short attention span! More so, that within; there is much to ponder.The title/s too are drawing in of one's eyes and holding them in the palm of hand.
Interesting how the stages seem to be connected through a sort of fuse wire, in spite of the sharp divisions. The last "Concrete Paranoia" feels like visual poetry. The effect really works. Nicely done.
ReplyDelete.
ReplyDeletehalf of me is... BIG
half of me... small
half of me hums
half of me is keeping mum
half of me doodles
half of me jumps over the puddles
this way
i keep my balance
on the cosmic thread of presence...
.
very inspiring work!
namaste!
@Jenny: As soon I said I disliked concrete/visual poetry, I felt compelled to try one. This little trio is pretty weak in my mind. Been busy with other stuff.
ReplyDelete@human being: Welcome. I dig the generic quality of your handle. Aren't we all? Like the riff that you rode from the somewhat uninspired start. It's waaaay better than the original. Thanks. And Namaste to you too.
very nice Gerry, loved the imagery, good post :)
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting how seeing these three together, the mind tries to make connections between them. The spareness of the forms also invites us to attach to them our faulty personal associations. For me the concrete poetry brought to mind Alice with her magic potion and cake. I like the open questioning of it.
ReplyDeleteHalf big half small does it for me, every time. Better any day than a boring old middle ground.
ReplyDeleteVery very effective. And yes, what if? Lots to think about...
ReplyDeleteNevine
@Mr. Manson: Thanks. Much Obliged.
ReplyDelete@Francis: Yes, good point. Are they connected? I suppose in some sense relative to a point in time and space, i.e., my brain. First and last concrete for me. The blogger composer wouldn't let me do what I really wanted to do cause it does let hack you own arbitrary HTML. Bummer.
@Jinksy: As always, you make me smile. :-)
@Nevine: Thanks, dear. Pretty non-abstruse for me, no?
Me thinks, I am somewhat a half of halves... or is it that I am halves of a half? (chuckle) x
ReplyDelete@CathM: LOL. Reductio ad absurdum. You sound like something out of Lewis Carrol.
ReplyDeleteShort is sweet, isn't it? Thanks...
ReplyDeleteWe are all two people put together to make one complete person.
ReplyDelete@Lyn: Yes, but a short and sweet poem is unusual for me. Thanks for spending a wee bit of time here. It means a lot.
ReplyDelete@Walker: Sure, at least two. Whitman: "Do I contradict myself?/Very well then, I contradict myself/I am large, I contain multitudes"
Well, I think you express a reasonable fear in your poem, if you’re into quantum experimenting. I really like the visual effects.
ReplyDeleteeach murmur a perfect poem"...I like that...
ReplyDelete@Sandra (if): Much obliged Sandra or should I say Ms. if?
ReplyDeletei feel like it operates on both the micro and macro levels. focusing first on the rose garden, which in the grand scheme of things is microscopic, then expanding into the questions of the universe: can we ever really come to a conclusion? and finally, steadies into each one of us, insignificant, yet, the true meaning of life. whether you meant it to be that way or not, for a work you deemed "pretty weak", great job in eliciting such a response
ReplyDelete@Ande: Thanks for that insightful analysis. I guess I may have to adjust my judgement. The piece seems to have elicited a wide array of interpretations which, if I can view it objectively, is a positive measure. (Since the writer throws something out there and what the reader brings to it, they bring themselves. So I try to make my work capable of as many readings as possible. The goal, of course never reached, would be an infinite number of possible readings. Or at least one for every reader. Something for everyone: that's my motto ;-0 ). Weird, since I came very close to deleting this post because I just didn't think it worked that well. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to do a careful read.
ReplyDeletethree smudges in a puddle; I keep seeing these almost faces peeking back at me and teasing me with the " almost there " gestures.....
ReplyDeletelots going on in a small space; the visual third stanza was quite effective.
Fuck, Gerry! Are you kidding? I f'n love this! I'm not usually one for visual poetry either but but but. I feel quickly spent after this. So.much.fun.
ReplyDeletexo
erin
Wow, I love this, both as one giant poem and as three separate poems. I love the look of the last bit. I hadn't ever really considered something like that before, part of me big and part of me small, but now that I do consider it, it really kind of freaks me out!
ReplyDeleteAs for the two -- haikus, right?
i avoid math 'cause
i want subjectivity
no real right or wrong
:)
Whispers From a Rose
ReplyDeleteAll voices hum now:
Vibrations blossom.
Each murmur a perfect poem... and it,
"Says your writing is awesome."
;)
History from Scotland,
ReplyDeletehttp://williamm50.blogspot.com/
@Harlequin: Thx.
ReplyDelete@WIAW: Simmer down. ;-) xo
@Chris: Haikus yes. This was sort of a "grafting" effort. Welded together with the thinnest of excuses. :)
@PT: Thanks hon. Glad to see that you're posting again.
I am liking this, you; for the condenseness of such.They appeal to my short attention span! More so, that within; there is much to ponder.The title/s too are drawing in of one's eyes and holding them in the palm of hand.
ReplyDeleteSarahA
Good pieces all. Like a quick helping of fine, delectable chocolates.
ReplyDeleteThe first was a wonder, the second made me ponder but by the third I was sundered.
;)
@OE(I): Mmmm...chocolate! I wish these pieces were that good, but thanks.
ReplyDelete@SarahA: Hello again. Yes, a bit like sweetened condensed milk they be. Why Anonymous, you?
ReplyDeleteThis made me smile. :)
ReplyDelete~gg
@GoGo: :-) back to you
ReplyDelete